For most of my life, I carried a heaviness, a feeling of being “less than,” not enough, not worthy, not wanted. I felt this in my body viscerally. I felt other people’s projections in my face, my mouth, my chest, my whole being. I absorbed emotions that weren’t mine. I carried blame, shame and other deeply intense emotions that didn’t belong to me. I became the one who held what others couldn’t face in themselves.
At the time, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was too sensitive, too emotional, too reactive. I thought I was the problem. But as I healed, through energy work, womb healing, inner guidance, and deep somatic listening, I began to realise and understand. These weren’t just emotional patterns. They were soul agreements. Contracts. Roles I had taken on long before this lifetime.
As I went deeper, I was shown memories, not only from childhood, but from other timelines, other cultures, other lives. Lives where certain people were used as vessels for the community’s pain.
Lives where the “lesser,” the “outsider,” the “different” were chosen to carry what others refused to or couldn’t hold.
This led me to research ancient history and I found In some ancient cultures, the community would place their fears, sins, or shadows onto an animal, often a cow or goat, and send it away or sacrifice it as a ritual of purification. In other cultures, they used people. People who were seen as “less than,” “outsiders,” or “expendable.” People who were chosen to carry the emotional and spiritual burdens of the group. People who became vessels for the collective shadow.
And as I healed, I realised: I had lived this. My body remembered it. My soul had carried it. The shame. The blame. The unworthiness. The feeling of being the one who absorbs what others project. The sense of being “chosen” to hold what no one else would touch. These wounds were echoes of roles I had taken on across lifetimes, roles rooted in sacrifice, distortion, and survival.
As I healed these layers, I felt them move through my body with an intensity I can’t describe. I felt the grief of lifetimes. I felt the weight of being used as a vessel. I felt the pain of being unseen, misunderstood, and misjudged. In my healing I had to release and close these contacts, these agreements. To return the projections to where they belonged. To reclaim the parts of me that had been sacrificed in other timelines.
This is known as the scapegoat wound: It is not who you are. It is a role you once played. And it can be released.
As I continue to heal, I feel myself stepping out of that role in this life and across all the lives where I carried it. I feel myself returning to my worth, my voice, my power, my truth. And for the first time, I am no longer the vessel for other people’s shadows. I am simply myself. It definitely feels lighter and it has also helped me not absorb others’ emotions and beliefs as an empath.
As you read this, notice what resonates in your own body. You may find yourself thinking, yes… I feel this… this is me. Honour that. That recognition is your doorway into healing this pattern, releasing what was never yours, and finally becoming free from the role you were never meant to carry.
